The Royal Suburbs

Life comes at you fast in Roysambu. The days are six hours long and the women get their periods every week. Thinking about it just makes my head spin. Wait, I need to hit a blunt or else I won't finish this shit  (*cue lighter and deep inhale* why did Lil Wayne stop doing that? ) fuck, I'm confused now. Lost my trail of thoughts somewhere... Oh! right. The water comes unannounced like Jesus Christ. And don't get me started with the highway robbery that is mutura.

However, if you don't die of asphyxiation caused by the large number of ubers and subarus,  it's a nice place to do drugs and increase your body count. There is essentially everyone for everyone. Standards vary with how loud your Subaru is and if you can actually put a mzinga on the table. Roysambu is not the place you meet prayer warriors, it's the place you meet drug addicts still convinced life's going great. 
Ubers, are as a result of the vast number of senior citizens belonging to the Mafisi group aka sponsors needing particular services that can only be offered by these peas peas. (It's okay if you don't get it ).

I like to think of this place like a grand buffet but with a shit-ton of people. It won't be particularly fine dining but we all gon eat. A wing here, some nyama choma, beer.. Life's great. 😊😊

Ps: speaking of wings...